She: Just Enough of a Girl that I'm Not One of the Guys

I don't know if any of the other ladies out there feel like they get jolted back to the reality of their gender from time to time, but if you do, you're definitely not alone.

A series of events in the past several days has managed to emphasize to me how much of an awkward position I'm in as a girl who primarily hangs out with guys. Trumpet studios pretty much anywhere in the country are going to be fairly male-dominant (and in some cases, that's putting it mildly); composition studios, while increasingly female-inclusive, still count as part of a man's world... And while I love my friends dearly, they (the new ones AND the old ones) occasionally need to step back and decide to treat me one way or the other.

It apparently doesn't matter if I'm in Tempe or San Jose - from time to time I hear things from my guyfriends (usually involving the word "no" or "whatever") that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be told if I too were male. Some of these things are merely said to keep everyone comfortable, and I can respect that; however, some seem to have no relevance other than emphasizing how utterly female I am.

This tends to pose a problem when I'm trying to hang out with people. To most of my friends, I can usually pass as "one of the guys" - unless I can't. And while I understand and respect their need for "guy time" that's really just with the guys, this neither-fish-nor-fowl status makes for an unclear, if not downright impossible, definition of friendship.

That's all great, but where's the relevance? Let's put it this way - when you get snubbed by two different friends in one night, you start thinking about the kind of friendship you're in. Guys who are friends of mine, don't give up, and don't let this bring you down - just treat me like ME, not as "that one girl" or "one of the guys."

Love you all,

Megan