The Lucky One: Thanksgiving 2013

So I figured I should do a Thanksgiving post - it seemed like a good idea, and I'd rather do that than study, so post it is. Here's the list of what I'm thankful for this year; I've tried to get everything, but if you feel forgotten, it's probably because I'm running on lots of stress and little sleep.

Family is always a good place to start, so I'm thankful for my family. My little brother, who is the best friend, confidant and partner in crime I'll ever have and with whom I can gossip for hours on end about nothing and everything. My mom and dad, who love me, challenge me, support me, occasionally tell me to get over myself, and want me to be successful in every way. My extended family - grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins - who make a pretty darn great support system.

I'm thankful for my band family. My trumpet studio, all of whom are scarily good but really nice. My friends from high school band - I'm still in touch with a lot of them, and they keep me grounded. My friends in the college bands - you guys are my present.

I'm thankful for my school family. Five guys have been my friends since day one, and though we don't always see eye to eye and they frequently think I'm pretty crazy (probably because I am), they're co-conspirators and brothers and they don't mind me tagging along when they play video games or forage for food late at night. The people on my floor are for the most part in that same realm of uncertainty that I'm living in right now, but together we still manage to make it through the day and laugh a little along the way.

I'm thankful for my composition family. Whether they're the people back home who helped me get to my feet or the people in college who are helping me grow my wings, they're really important to me, they bring joy into my life on a regular basis, and I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without them.

I'm thankful for the chance to go to college. Even though I have no idea where I'll actually be in four years or what I'll ultimately be studying/making a career out of, I'm glad I have the experience of living away from home and gradually transitioning from academia into "the real world."

I'm thankful for anyone who's ever believed in me - especially when I didn't believe in myself. Anyone who knows me knows that I doubt my own abilities from time to time, and a lot of you have been there for me when everything's seemed to be too much. Chances are, if someone tells me I can do it I'll have the courage to get back up and try again.

I'm thankful for music. That overarching element of culture that binds us all together. It doesn't matter what language you speak, if someone sings a melody to you, you'll probably be able to sing it back. It doesn't matter if you're tone-deaf or pitch-perfect, you can appreciate music for what it is without having to know everything about it. Music moves people in ways words and actions cannot. It is the language that bypasses the brain.

I'm thankful for new beginnings. Sure, endings are hard, even devastating, and recovering from them can be a long and arduous process. Still, when we make it through and realize there's a new opportunity awaiting us - whether it be a new job, a new relationship, a new friend, a new semester, or even just a new day - we are once again able to embrace possibility.

I'm thankful for jazz band. And I miss it. A lot. [Just thought I'd throw that out there.]

I'm thankful for Christmas carols and puppies and rainy days and family tournaments of Mario Kart and gigantic crossword puzzles and little moments of courage and Brian Balmages' music and good books and the piano in the dining hall at Barrett and Handel's Messiah (which I won't get to sing this year) and reasons to get dressed up and comfortable clothes and Castle and friends who think I'm beautiful with no makeup on and my two best friends and Sharks games and snail mail and musicals and late-night expeditions to Devils' Diner and the flugelhorn and birthdays and Batkid and good intonation and valve oil and TSA Pre-Check and songs that make me happy and cookies and sunsets and the moments where everything is right in the world.

That's a pretty long list! But there's one more, and it's time to be brave:

I'm thankful for the guy who's captured my attention. I can talk to him for a long time without either of us getting bored, he understands and accepts my musicality, and he's sweet and smart and amazing and that's all the details anyone's getting. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Love you all,
Megan

Sound of Madness: Emotion and the Compositional Process

I know, I know, when I get busy I stop blogging. I'm sorry.

The last couple weeks have been one really long roller coaster - a couple good days, a couple bad days, lather, rinse, repeat. While we're currently in the middle of a batch of good days that's lasted since Thursday, there are good and bad moments within each day, too. This has all made for some very confused composing - while I'll be the first to admit I'm at my best when I'm emotional, I also tend to get distracted. It's easiest for me to start with a blank score and go where the music leads me - if I try to continue work on a project I've already started, it's really easy to get sidetracked and completely change the colors at work in the piece. I had to scrap entire passages of music last week because my pieces were just sounding bipolar. Seriously - 24 bars of serene, nighttime music, 12 bars of agitated, 20 bars of so happy it's almost hyper... I'm saving the bits and pieces, but it got so bad it was almost comical.

Socially, things are good between my friends and I, and although guys continue to be really confusing, right now I'm not going to complain because I have some of the most awesome people by my side. Academically, things are fine, if a bit hectic (and finally starting to be stressful). Musically, aside from the mood-swing composing, life's good.

When I've been able to hold my mood down as I'm composing, I've gotten some pretty golden stuff. (Okay, maybe not golden, but at least bronze.) Pieces of mine have just exploded into works of art, and I think I finished one today. [By finished, I mean there's a beginning, middle and end, not that it's ready for anyone to play.] That particular piece is something I started on a whim and kept writing because I knew I had something. It's not super long or super complicated, and it's only been part of my life for a couple months, but I'm already as attached to it as I am to Tour de Force or Seven for Brendan or anything else I've written through to the end. I never look forward to finishing a piece and calling it really done - while everything I write stays with me forever, it stops being part of my daily life, my daily routine. I conducted Tour the other day and realized how much I missed it. There's almost (but not quite) a mourning process that happens when you send a piece out into the world. It's halfway between a funeral and sending your kid off to her first day of kindergarten.

Does that make sense? It might not, but if it does, at least I make sense to one of us.

Love you all,

Megan

Play My Music: Hanging Out with the Musicians

So I was shocked to see I only blogged twice in October. I'll try to be a little more regular. You people who are trying to keep up with me deserve far more updates. (Btw, hearing about people reading this totally makes my day.)

Anyway, tonight started slow but got increasingly more fun, to my surprise. After dinner with the usual posse, I had some down time, but after a little inspiration, I decided I could try to compose around other people. Our floor is notoriously loud, but all seemed relatively calm, so I ventured out to find some other music kids. We talked and goofed around for a little while (and I found people who were willing to play my pieces), then we commandeered the lounge and haven't left yet. As I type, four people are going at it in Black Ops II, several more are watching, and I'm on my laptop. I did end up composing, and I actually ended up starting not one but two projects tonight.

I'm starting an adventure in choral/voice music - I've never written for voice before, though I have some experience singing other people's pieces. I figured I might as well jump straight into the fire, so it's four-part a cappella from the get-go. Counterpoint rules are suddenly REALLY important (contrapuntal guidelines were invented with the human voice in mind and as such are totally relevant), and I'm finding I have to go back and fix things even as I'm drafting. It's a slow process, and I have no idea how it'll turn out, but I'm having fun, and it'll be interesting to see how it goes.

The other project I started tonight wasn't something I was going out of my way to look for - I'm writing a piece for two specific musicians. (And they're going to play it for me at a composition concert! Hopefully.) It's a really fun journey; I love writing for trombone and writing for two of them is a blast, especially since the guys are really talented. I've already got about thirty seconds of music, and I'm satisfied with it (better yet, THEY like it). Ideally I'll finish it (or get most of the way there) by the time the semester's over. Inspiration for the piece was easy - they've been playing first-person shooters all night, so the song will be called One-Hit Kill. (Yes, I promise it's going to be awesome.)

Essentially, what wasn't supposed to be a major composition night turned into something spectacular - and I'm still in the company of some pretty awesome people. Yaaaay balance!
Love you all,
Megan

Rain: Some Days are Better than Others

I know, I know, these posts are getting farther and farther apart. I've suddenly had lots more school to deal with. Plus, things that used to be a huge deal (like being homesick) are suddenly less important. [Unfortunately, sleep is also becoming one of those things.] I've had a relatively rough couple of weeks on the emotional front - homesickness has resulted in a couple sleepless nights, and I've figured out that I really need something to do as an activity (for once, band doesn't count). The friend transition from high school to college has become a little more evident - schedules don't match up, and as I've gotten busier I've also found that the mental reminders to text so-and-so haven't been as reliable. I've kept pretty much the same relationships with a lot of my close friends from high school, though, and that's good. Even the ones who are going to school on the other side of the country (and I think the joy of actually getting snail mail has been helping me write letters on a regular basis). I made more friends here, too, and found allies in unlikely places.

Now that I've tricked everyone into thinking this post is going to be about the trials and tribulations of college life, I'll get into what I actually meant to talk about here. I've had several really good conversations with some friends here over the past week - two of which were COMPLETELY unexpected - and they made me think about who I am and what I'm looking for. I love it when my friends make me think about things beyond when we're going to dinner.

Yesterday in particular was great. Classes were fun, I got great feedback on an English essay (turns out, you just need the right person to read it), I figured out what I'm REALLY arguing in my Human Event paper, I had fun seeing my trumpet section for the first time in a week, and I had one of those unexpectedly insightful conversations with a friend. Oh, and the new Pentatonix album came out yesterday, so I was rocking out to that all day.

The best part of the past week is that it's rained not once but three times. In Arizona! I definitely went and walked around in the rain without a hood just because I knew I wouldn't get to very often. (That's one thing I really miss about California - you can have rain without thunderstorms.) Anyway... that explains the song I chose. [It's by Creed and I absolutely adore it.]
I hope everything's good where you people are. Keep smiling!
Love you all,
Megan